Guest Post

Hey all-

I wrote a guest post on The Amazing Paige's blog about living and losing with PCOS. Let me know whatcha think.

http://sayingnotocookies.blogspot.com/2012/08/guest-post-this-is-how-andrea-has-lost.html

Thoughts on the Love Languages

I read the Love Languages book designed for singles a while ago. When I took the diagnostic at the end to see what my language was, I came up with an almost perfect 3-way tie. When I took it again some months later, I had a two-way tie. I've been thinking a lot lately about my relationships and whether I feel loved or appreciated and how I naturally show love and appreciation. To be honest, I feel like I show a lot, but I mostly don't feel like it's reciprocated, so I end up feeling hurt and used.

I'm fairly certain that my main love language for showing love is service and/or gifts. If you are my friend, I will do things for you. Lots of things. Inconvenient things. Things that cost me time and money. And I'm happy to do it, because it's for my friend.

It's rather a good thing that service isn't the language in which I receive love, because there's really only 1 person who shows his love for me that way. And because I show love that way too, I see it and understand it and reciprocate. But really, my receiving language is quality time. I've moved so many times - more than 2 dozen. So many people have come into and gone out of my life, and so I'm used to not seeing and not hearing from people and people regularly dropping out of my life.

Quality time. If I don't hear from you occasionally, if you don't want to hang out once in a while, it will follow for me that we are probably not friends anymore - that you don't want to spend time with me. I don't need tons, but to maintain any relationship, I do need something - a call to catch up, a sofa-surfing movie night, dinner. Something. Anything.

The worst for me is those that take my manifestations of love and give me nothing in return. I've always attracted those friends and boyfriends who would happily bask in my natural generosity - asking me to help with this and that, help moving, borrowing my books or DVDs, accepting invitations to dinners at my home - but who never do me the courtesy of a reciprocal offer or invitation. Those who only stop by to exchange one borrowed movie for another without extending the invitation to join them. Those who make plans with me one day and then drop off the face of the earth as the day for the plans approaches.

It makes me feel used. People take my time and effort and generosity, and then walk away with them. 

Dear Neighbors...

Dear Next-door Neighbors-
It was me. I reported your party to the police last night! And I'm NOT SORRY. Sure, when I was your age, I indulged in loud parties, too. But. Now I'm 30, and at 11:30pm, even on a weekend, I'd like to be able to sleep. I can not accomplish this when your guests are dancing in the streets and setting off fire crackers in the front lawn and when your music is so loud that I can make out the words from inside MY house.
So it was me. And I'll do it again.

Dear Other-half-of-house Neighbor-
Please, get a rug. You do NOT tread lightly. Also, I hate it when you sit in front of your door and smoke because it makes my whole house smell like cigarette smoke. I quit for a reason, and I'd like to keep it that way.

Dear Downstairs Neighbors-
The Saturday morning moaning is getting really old really fast. For the love, you share a house with other people. I have to see you at church. Keep it down, huh?

That's all. :)

Also...

I graduated. :D

I'm trying to keep my head above water with a series of part-time jobs while decided what to do for my future.  I'm confided that I'll go for a PhD.  I was initially planning on a PhD in Linguistics, but now I'm seriously considering Speech-Language Pathology.  There's a job market there, you know?

Whatcha think?

Pet Peeve #5487

Church book club.  The Relief Society ladies want to start a book club.  I'm not adverse to this idea, but I am wary.  I have no desire to read insipid church fiction or to spend my spare time reading the works of the GAs.  Yes, I admit it: I'm kind of a crappy Mormon.  I also hate casseroles, jello, and Mormon punch.

So, book club.  The ladies are organizing a first meeting, where a book will be chosen and tasteless treats will be served.  I both love and hate making treats for church things.  I love showing everyone else up with my awesome baking skills.  I hate being so much of a snob that my food is the only food I'll eat.  It's one of the injustices of life to be the only person with cooking skills within a 50-mile radius.  Everyone wants my recipes.  No.  If I give them to you, they won't be special anymore, and invariably you will bring MY DISH to an event that I am also attending, and then take full credit for its brilliance. Nope.  No can-do.  I will continue to be a stingy bitch.

But that isn't the pet peeve I'm meaning to write about.  Granted, that is one of them, but it's not the focus of this post.

The ladies are chatting on Facebook, decided where and when to meet, etc.  And then one lady asks if she can bring her 3 KIDS who are "pretty well behaved."  What the fuck.  I've been here long enough to know that "pretty well behaved" actually means demon monster.  Can we not have ONE effing activity for the freakin' grown-ups in the room?  ONE?!?!?

Dear Utah: Children do not belong everywhere.  It is not appropriate to take them to late-night movies.  Also, sometimes adults what to spend time with other adults.  Get a freakin' baby sitter.  Or, here's an idea..., give your kids to your GD husband for the night.  But don't inflict your 3 demon monsters on a room full of women trying to get away from THEIR kids for the night.

NOT. COOL.

Bad Foodie Confession.

I don't like things that are blood orange flavored.

I like blood oranges.  But food items which are blood orange flavored just taste (to me) like cheap orange sherbet.  Prettier, for sure.  But no tastier.  And I don't LIKE orange sherbet.

Pet Peeve.

Rant moment.

Attention people:  It is December.  That means it is winter.  That means that it will be cold.  And icy.  And snowy.  You will need to wear boots.  And coats and scarves and hats and gloves.  You will need to scrape shit off of your cars.

This is not news.  This is normal.  Please, for the love of God, stop acting like winter is new and shocking. Please stop bitching about it being cold.  IT'S DECEMBER!!!  It's supposed to be cold.

That's all I have to say about that.